Talk later

In the aquatic

stillness of late afternoon, 

voices ribbon softly

on the wind.             Two hands

carve out my sternum,     brutal and precise.

My soft,    meaty heart,    the

pitted heat of me,      ring on first

finger cool against slick wound.

I set myself deeply there

like a stone,       blinking

through tears at the carpet

of silver shoots now spilling

over the earth before my feet.          Give me

what you carry and I'll bear it,      I'll bear it.

Give me what you carry

and I'll bear it.

Revision note: Something feels off about the jump between sentences 1-2 and 2-3. I am also not sold on the repetition at the end. If interested, give me your thoughts on how I could fix that.